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対話と協調

この時期にこんなタイトルにすると、北朝鮮問題か、はたまた、イラク問題かと思われそうですが、これは恋愛ネタと言うことで。

僕がよくお邪魔するブログにテクストによる恋愛放談と言うものがあります。
そこの書き込みに「なぜ男はテクニックを磨くのか」と言うものがありました。

男性がAVバリのテクニック?を発揮してかえって女性の不興を買ってしまう。
力加減がわかっていない・・・などなど、昔からよく言われている男性のセックスについての勘違についてかかれています。

それを読んでこんなテーマで書いてみようかなと思ったものです。

昔々のF1ドライバーにスターリング・モスという方がいたそうです。

彼宣わく「男はセックスと車の運転だけは他の男に負けたくない」。(細部は違うかもしれませんが、こんな感じのことを行ったのは確かなようです)

で、ここで大きな問題があるのは車の運転はたとえばラップタイムという客観指標があるのに、セックスはおおむね主観的名ものであると言うことです。

稚拙な相手でも、それがかえって良いこともあれば、妙に上手いことが興ざめになることある・・・それは多分、男も女も同じです。

大事なのは対話だ、と僕は思っています。
対話に勝るテクニックはない、と。

それこそ運転で言えば、相手と競争して速く走ることと、数台の車で、一緒になって、競争ではなく、走ることとは根本的に違いますよね。

セックスってどっちかというと後者だと思います。

セックスの指南書を10冊読むくらいなら、彼女とセックスについて話す方がよっぽど有益だと思うんですけれどね。

意外とそういう人は少ないようです。

まずは反省会あたりからやってみましょうよ。
ひとしきり事が済んで、お互いちょっと一息ついた頃に、「さて、じゃあ、今日の反省会」って始めるとだいたいウケます。

まあ、実際に真面目に反省会にはなかなかなりませんが、そうやって「この人とはセックスについて本音で話しても大丈夫」と思ってもらうことがポイントです。
もちろん僕もうまくいかなかったこともありますが、だいたい、慣れてくると本音で話してくれて、それに真剣に耳を傾け、自分も本音で語ることで、セックスの喜びって大きく増してくると思いますよ。

彼氏、彼女とのセックスがマンネリになっちゃうこともかなり防げるはず。

是非今度のセックスのおりには反省会をやってみてください。

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Comments

「真面目に反省会」・・・えっそんなのするの??

私は、ちょっとイヤかも。いや、うんといやかも。


して欲しいことは、その最中にお互いにリクエストするのが、自然じゃないかなあ??
そして満足した後は、ゆっくり余韻に浸っていたいです。

直後の「赤ペン先生」なんて、興ざめじゃないの???

・・・そんなおんなもいますよぉ。(笑)

Posted by: mia | 2004.06.02 09:27 PM

うーん、たしかに。
反省会、と言うよりは今回を踏まえて、次回へのリクエストっていう感じでしょうか。

最中でも良いんだけど、後の方が最初は言いやすいのと、「反省会!」って笑いを取ってからの方が気持ちが緩んで話しやすいと来もあるし。

この辺りはケースバイケースです。

大事なのは、どうしたいか率直に話してもらえる関係を築くことだと思います。

悪いことを指摘するよりも、良かったことを指摘しあった方がお互いの関係も進展しそうですしね。

Posted by: Eddie | 2004.06.03 03:06 AM

>悪いことを指摘するよりも、良かったことを指摘しあった方がお互いの関係も進展しそうですしね。

そうですよね。

ああ、そういえば、セッションとセッションの間の、インターミッションには、そんな反省会もどきをすることあるかも。

「では、今度はこの体位で・・・」とか。
すぐに次のセッションが始められるときは、問題点を指摘しあったとしても、やり直せるから、一番いいかもね。うんうん。

Plan→Do→Assessment→Plan→Do→Assessment→ の連鎖が大事で、すぐDoに入れることが肝要

Posted by: mia | 2004.06.03 03:18 AM

はじめまして!
”さとう珠緒”で検索して飛んできました。
でもコメントは『対話と協調』にさせていただきますw
 
反省会!いいですねww
セックスの最中に「ああしてほしい、こうしてほしい」
と思っても女からはなかなか言い出しにくいけど、
これだとあまり照れずに自分の意見が言えそうでいいなぁと思いました。
反省会というか、リクエストするってノリで話し合うと
積極性が高まって、ラブラブ度も高まりそうですね♪
 
でも自分から「反省会しよー!」
とかって言いにくいな。。。

Posted by: なちゅ | 2004.06.20 12:16 AM

>なちゅさん

そうそう、そのように考えて頂けると嬉しいです。

でも、確かに「反省会」っていう言い方は微妙ですね。
miaさんからも指摘があったし。

僕自身も反省会とは実際には呼んでいなかった気がします。

ひとしきり終わって、二人でリラックスしている時になんとなく、「今度どんなことしようか?」とか「今日、どうだった?」とかそんな話しをしていました。

自分の中では反省会&次回に向けての企画会議だったんですが。

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